Choosing a Russian tutor for your child: 8 questions to ask before the first lesson

If you're hiring a Russian tutor for your child, you have probably already been through one or two who didn't work out. The right teacher is rare, and finding them is more about asking the right questions on the first call than about credentials.

I have been on both sides of this conversation many times. As a tutor I field these calls; as a colleague I have referred friends to other tutors. What follows is the eight questions I would ask in the first phone call, what the answers should sound like, and the answers that should make you keep looking.

1. Have you taught heritage speakers specifically?

Heritage speakers — children of Russian-speaking families raised abroad — are not the same kind of student as adult learners or as Russian-as-a- foreign-language students. They have a quirky distribution of skills (strong listening, weaker reading, often patchy grammar) and a quirky emotional relationship with the language (often resistant or self-conscious).

A tutor without specific heritage-speaker experience will, in good faith, teach them as foreign-language students. The lessons will feel beneath them and they will check out.

Good answer: "Yes, I've taught quite a few. Heritage speakers usually need" — and then specifics about reading-versus-conversation, about the emotional piece, about the rebuild from passive to active.

Worrying answer: "I teach all levels, no problem." Without the word heritage, you don't know what they actually mean.

2. How do you handle a child who refuses to speak Russian?

This is the single most diagnostic question. Almost every parent who calls me has, or has had, this problem (it's why I wrote a separate piece on why heritage-speaker children refuse to speak the language). A tutor who has worked with heritage children should have a real, specific answer based on real children.

Good answer: Some version of "I don't make speaking the goal of the first few lessons. I focus on building a relationship in Russian where the child feels heard. Once they trust me, the speaking comes back — usually within a month or two." A good tutor talks about the child in this answer, not about technique.

Worrying answer: "I make them speak Russian — that's what they're here for." This signals a tutor who will turn lessons into a battle.

3. What does the first month look like?

Anyone can deliver a polished sales answer to "tell me about your approach." Asking about the first month concretely separates the people who have actually done this many times from the people who are improvising.

Good answer: A specific arc. "In the first lesson I do almost no formal teaching — I just want to hear what your child sounds like, what they're interested in, what they remember. By the end of the second lesson I have a sense of what to focus on. By the end of the first month, we've usually settled into a rhythm and I send you a short note about what I'm seeing and what we're working on next."

Worrying answer: Vague platitudes. "We'll work on grammar and vocabulary." This person hasn't actually planned the first month.

4. What materials do you use?

The materials reveal the philosophy.

Good answer: A mix — real books, age-appropriate Russian children's literature, sometimes specific chapters from grammar workbooks for older kids, sometimes things the tutor has prepared themselves around your child's specific interests. The phrase "I tailor materials to each child" should be backed up by examples.

Worrying answer: "I use [one specific textbook] for everyone." That textbook may be excellent for some children, but a tutor who runs the same curriculum for every kid hasn't learned to read children individually.

5. How do you include parents?

Lessons happen in private but the work happens in the home. A tutor who treats parents as outside the loop — or worse, as inconvenient — produces slow, fragile progress. A tutor who works with parents produces durable progress.

Good answer: "I send a short summary after each lesson, or every few lessons, with what we covered and what they could practice with you at home. I'm available by text for questions. If you and I disagree about direction, I want to hear it." A tutor who really understands the parent-tutor partnership has often read the same parenting playbook you have — they'll know what's in pieces like how to keep your child speaking Russian at home and have specific opinions about which parts hold up.

Worrying answer: "I'll let you know how it's going at the end of the semester." A tutor who isn't actively coordinating with you is teaching in a vacuum.

6. What's the homework expectation?

Most parents either over-estimate or under-estimate this. Both are problems. A good tutor names the expectation up front so nobody is surprised.

Good answer: "About fifteen to twenty minutes between lessons, usually three or four times a week. It's mostly reading and a small exercise — never busywork. If you're seeing fights about it, tell me right away and we'll dial it down."

Worrying answer: "I leave that up to you." A tutor who hasn't thought about practice between lessons is leaving the most important variable unspecified.

7. How do you think about literature?

This question separates teachers from language coaches. For Russian specifically, literature is not a luxury — it's a load-bearing part of the language's identity. A tutor who doesn't think about it is offering your child Russian-the-grocery-list, not Russian-the-culture.

Good answer: Real names. Pushkin's children's poetry for younger kids; Marshak; Korney Chukovsky. Then, as kids age up, real selections from Chekhov's short stories, Akhmatova's accessible poems. A tutor who gets excited talking about this is the right tutor.

Worrying answer: "We focus on practical Russian." Practical Russian without literature is a thin language.

8. Do you actually like teaching children?

You will not get a "no" to this question, but the way a tutor answers it tells you everything.

Good answer: Specifics about a particular child they enjoyed working with. A funny story. A moment they remember. Real warmth in the voice.

Worrying answer: "Of course I love teaching children." Said quickly, without examples. This is the answer of someone who tutors children because adult students are scarcer.

The red flags

A few things I would walk away from, even if the credentials look good:

• Promises specific outcomes by specific dates. "Your child will be reading by January." Nobody can promise this. A tutor who does is selling you, not teaching your child.
• No flexibility on schedule, format, or approach. The right tutor meets you where you are. Especially with children, rigidity breaks faster than it bends.
• Talks about the child as a problem to solve. "Heritage kids are always behind." If that's the framing, your child will feel it.
• Won't answer the cancellation policy clearly. A tutor who is squirrely about the basics of how the relationship works will be squirrely about other things later.

The right tutor for your child

The right tutor will be someone you'd be happy to have over for dinner. They will speak about your child with curiosity. They will be honest about what they can and can't do. They will ask you good questions back — about your child's personality, your home language situation, your goals — instead of just answering yours.

When you find that person, the rest of the work becomes much smaller. A year later you'll wonder why this used to feel so hard.

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If you'd like to ask me these eight questions yourself, the first thirty minutes are on me. Book a free intro call, or read more about how I work with heritage-speaker children on the Russian for kids page.